My OCD has Holiday OCD

Holiday shopping. Popping up & decorating not one, but two trees (thats 100% my fault). Trying to plan dinners so none of our friends feel left out. Arranging the calendar, there’s birthday parties, it’s wear red day at daycare, wear your holiday sweater at school, and dress as a snowman tomorrow... I need to order holiday cards, the annual Christmas calendars. Stressing about that one gift that your kid added to his Santa letter that you know he isn’t getting because it’s a living breathing thing and you can’t take that on right now... negotiating with him to try and change it.. this is my life. If you're a mom, this probably sounds familiar.

All holly & jolly, it’s seriously my favourite time of year. But probably the most high strung, stressful time of year. People hung up, running around chasing sales. Standing in line for hours.. don’t get me wrong I love a good deal but that’s one thing I haven‘t been able to do this year. I’m not one to beat down the door for a good Boxing Day sale. Years ago I’d be taking the metro bus, guys before 7am to get to the mall for the 20% off sale- midnight madness. Now, If I see a line I’ll turn around and walk away.

I have a running Christmas gift list on my phone.

Filled with ✔️ and • to determine if I've bought/picked it up yet. Tell me you do to? I‘m sure you have a note of some type, and I review it every single day. I’m afraid I’m going to forget something. Forget someone. If I don’t write it down, I’ll forget I bought it. I might likely go buy it a second time- legit almost did that yesterday. Stood up in the winners isle searching, like a mad women through all my emails for order confirmations. I also write it down because when it’s time to wrap I won’t remember where I hid shit. My basement, aka “Santa‘s workshop” looks like the elves threw up Christmas, stuff slung everywhere- no organization no system, I’ll need a full day to sort through it all. Found a bottle of champagne popped in one closet last night, sorry Amanda but your gift went straight in the garbage.

Gift wrapping, it’s a huge tradition like a holiday date night that usually goes one of both ways. Huge success, everything gets wrapped but we realize we forgot like 5 things. Or it can go the other way, where josh picks at me and torments so much that it completely pisses me off and I end up doing it myself (its usually goes that way.) You know, he might have wrapped something separately that needed to go wrapped together. Or he may have purposely left my name off the big gifts from Santa just to tick me off... nothing major, mommy holiday ocd kicks in and that’s it, game over looks like mommas wrapping the gifts all alone.

Let's go back to shopping.

Do you do your shopping?

Your husbands shopping?

Pick up gifts for your kids from all the relatives? Yep me too. I’m not complaining just making a point. I use to take time to plan, know the price range and specifically shop for items. Now it’s like; stock the cart, Night of wrapping pull something from the pile- pop nans name on it and we’re good to go. Again, likely years ago someone gave my kid a crappy gift so I insisted I’d pick something out next year, here we are- 7 years later and another annual holiday tradition. Similar situation shopping for myself. Side story- some 6 years ago I asked Santa Josh for a new pair of designer sunglasses. He insisted he would pick them out... picture this; white frame, Rainbow lenses full on douch bag style sunglasses (sorry hunny if your reading this, I know you tried) hence, the reason I do my own personal holiday shopping & leave just the stocking for the hubby.

Helping the less fortunate. I think it’s one of the main reasons I’m put on this earth. It fills my cup. I’m a yes person and I think we’ve probably donated and helped 20 charities this past 2 weeks- no joke and it fills my heart. I still have two projects near and dear to my heart that I want to pull off. Mentally can I do it? Honestly I’m not sure. I’m not sure if anyone can relate. There’s No limit. No filter. I’m a giver and a “yes let’s“ do it person. I think it’s easier to say yes sometimes, then it is to say no.

The “pressure” WE,

aka the bullshit us mommas worry about and place on ourselves over the holidays, it’s real and a little ridiculous. I can’t blame anyone- not even the hubby. He isn’t asking or telling me to do all this, but more importantly I’m not asking him for help either. He thinks getting gifts the week before Christmas is perfectly fine.. and it is when you have to buy just one. The “pressures” of the holiday I’ve 100% put on myself. Wanting things to go a certain way, for Christmas to be just perfect, spreading myself so thin to do everything that needs to be done and then move onto to the next. I think I’m caught up so much in planning & doing that I’ve missed the true meaning of Christmas- how corny does that sound. But maybe if your reading this your feeling it too.

I’m counting down the days, minutes, even seconds to Christmas “break.” To try and turn everything off- work included. Hopefully to relax and be present, man I haven’t felt present in a very long time. Here in body, but my mind is always on, elsewhere. This Christmas may look a little different for many, trying to stick to our small party bubbles. Some of you may have family members & friends who can’t make it home this year. Get togethers will likely be much smaller and a little low key- and don’t get mad at me, but I’m actually looking forward to it🖤

*Photo credit, 2012 Baby faced. First Christmas in Alberta, together on our very first home. Before babies & big businesses. The Biggest decision I had to make that year was how much booze to pick up. #adulting #lifebeforekids #howtimeshavechanged

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